Atheism

The word atheism is actually comprised of 2 words: 'a' and 'theism'. 'A' stands not for 'anti' but for 'away (from)' and 'thei' stands for Dei which means God.




Hank: 'Werner, are you an atheist?'
Werner: 'Hmmm, that's not easy to say...'
Hank: 'Not easy to say? Can't you just tell me if you are an atheist or not?'
Werner: 'No, I can't. In order to answer that question I need to know something about you'
Hank: 'What do you need to know?'
Werner: 'I need to know if you are an afsmist'
Hank: 'A what?'
Werner: 'An afsmist'
Hank: 'What on earth is an afsmist?'
Werner: 'An afsmist is an anti-flying spaghetti monster-ist'
Hank: '.........'
Werner: 'Eh, hello?'
Hank: 'Look, why can't you simply tell me if you are an atheist or not?'
Werner: 'Because this is essential. I can only answer your question properly if I know whether or not you are an afsmist'
Hank: 'All right then, I will listen to this afsmist shit and then you tell me if you are an atheist, Ok?'
Werner: 'Sure'
Hank: 'Ok, go for it!'
Werner: 'The Flying Spaghetti Monster is said to have created the earth and the whole universe, and it is now in orbit around the earth.'
Hank: 'How interesting'
Werner: 'There is a lot more to say about this Flying Spaghetti Monster, but for our sake all that matters is that people who believe in Him are called Flyingspaghettimonsterists or shortly fsmists, and people who don't believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster are called antiflyinspaghettimonsterists, or shortly a-fsmists. Does this make sense to you?'
Hank: 'Oh yes! Very much so!'
Werner: 'Good, now let's get back to my initial question: are you an afsmist?'
Hank: 'Eh, well, I don't believe in this Flying Spaghetti Monster so I assume I am.'
Werner: 'You don't believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster?'
Hank: 'Of course I don't!'
Werner: 'Then why can't you give me a straight answer whether or not you are an afsmist?'
Hank: 'Because it feels totally ridiculous to consider myself an afsmist. True, strictly logically I think I should, but it simply doesn't work for me. The whole concept is too absurd!'
Werner: 'I'm glad you said that. Now you know whether or not I am an atheist'
Hank: 'Oh? Do I?'
Werner: 'Yes, at least you should'
Hank: 'Well, I don't! And you promised me a straight answer!'
Werner: 'But you didn't give me a straight answer yourself!'
Hank: 'Ok, I will give you one! I am NOT an afsmist! Not at all! Because I think the whole concept is rubbish! And I don't want to have anything to do with it! Is that straight enough for you?'
Werner: 'It certainly is.'
Hank: 'Good. So, are you are an atheist?'
Werner: 'No, I'm not.'
Hank: 'You are not? But you don't believe in God after all... Hmmm... Would your answer have been different if I would have said that I am an afsmist?'
Werner: 'Yes, it would. In that case I would definately have said that I am an atheist.'
Hank: 'So your answer depends on the person who asks you?'
Werner: 'Exactly. Or to be more precise: whether or not he considers himself an afsmist'

The bottom line is that I think that by considering myself an atheist I would pay too much honour to the God concept. Someone who considers himself an atheist makes the same impression on me as someone who considers himself an afsmist. And indeed, the atheists I feel most connected with are the ones who shrug at the whole concept.